Gardening Versus Sex

Here are the top signs gardening is better than sex:

#25 – Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.

#24 – If your regular gardening partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you garden with someone else.

#23 – It’s absolutely acceptable to garden before you’re married.

#22 – The Ten Commandments don’t say anything against gardening.

#21 – You don’t have to shower and shave before you garden.

#20 –  You’ll always be able to garden, no matter how old you are.

#19 – You’ll never hear anyone say: “Is gardening all you ever think about?”

#18 – You don’t have to hide your Garden magazines.

#17 – Telling gardening jokes, and inviting co-workers to garden with you is not considered workplace harassment.

#16 – Email with garden content is not considered offensive material.

#15 – When you become famous, you don’t have to worry about pictures and videotapes of your gardening being shown on the Internet.

#14 – Your gardening partner doesn’t get upset about people you gardened with a long time ago.

#13 – It’s perfectly respectable to enjoy gardening with a total stranger.

#12 – When you see a really good gardener, you don’t have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you gardening together.

#11 – Every time you garden, you hope to produce fruit.

#10 – Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you garden by yourself.

#9 – When dealing with a gardening pro, you never have to wonder if they’re really an undercover cop.

#8 – You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy garden-related stuff.

#7 – You can have a gardening-related calendar on your wall at the office.

#6 – There are no gardening-transmitted diseases.

#5 – No one objects if you watch the gardening channel on television.

#4 – Nobody expects you to garden with the same person your whole life.

#3 – Nobody expects you to give up gardening if your partner loses interest.

#2 – You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.

#1 – Your partner will never say, “Not again? We just gardened last week! “